About Me

My photo
Joseph Scarbrough launched what he called "The Scarblog" as a way of cataloging his work over the years, as well as going into greater detail of things on his mind (known as "Unfinished Thoughts").

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Transcript for STEVE'S INEFFICIENT CHRISTMAS (Part 4)

So, this particular installment got just a little bit "messagy", but steered clear of becoming outright preachy in order to remain humorous.

****

STEVE’S INEFFICIENT CHRISTMAS – PART 4

FADE IN.

INT. SANTA’S HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT

All of Santa’s Headquarters are still without electricity; only the dimmed Map Screen, which now displays a standby message reading, “Dude, You’re Screwed!”, and a few candles placed around the Santa Radar Tracker System, provide any form of light in the room. Steve shivers a little from the lack of heat, as he looks up from a small index card he has in his hand.

STEVE
(Nervously) Uh… say, uh… any chance there might be any more of them thumbprint cookies left?

ELVES (O.S.)
NO!!!

ELF (O.S.)
YA ATE ‘EM ALL, YA DINGBAT!

STEVE
Oh. (Sighs; faces viewers) As you can see, we’ve had a bit of an incident here; all of Santa’s Headquarters is without power… and boy is it cold in here! (Shivers) I just heard from someone that the temperature outside just dropped down to a million degrees below zero! I guess the North Pole must be somewhere in Canada… (Beat) But, at least some of the elves are around the back trying to get the generator fired up, so we can get the Santa Radar Tracker System up and running again. In the meantime, I figured since there really isn’t anything else to do, I’d make my own list, and check it twice! (Holds up index card) Which is why I made up my list, of people I’d like to get presents from, this Christmas. All on this tiny little index card…

The index actually folds out to reveal eight of them taped together (release second rod to drop cards) with a bunch of different names scribbled on them.

SFX: Xylophone, descending.

STEVE (cont.)
… That unfolds as necessary, ha-ha! Yeah, there’s a lot of people I wanna get presents from this year… (Looks over list) starting with Santa, as if there was any doubt, then there’s my Mommy and Daddy, and of course my bestest buddy Bethany, then there’s Colby and Dumb Dog, and Muley the Mule, and Zook and Max, and Fenwick and Bob Blob, and Carly Sanderson, and Freddy the Frog, and then, let’s see, there’s Kendra, and Jordan, and Sarah, and Angela, and Julio, and Shane, and Tim Kelly, and Reverend Spike, two different Kevin’s, and Alex, and Tal, and Cami, and Emmie, and Haven and Mason, and Kimmi, and of course and I can’t forget Touloose and Catwoman, and Russ Manning, and Wayne Rogers, and to be continued, and--

Cut to…

INSERT: ILLUSTRATION – Easter Egg’s Tip of the Day; CAPTION – “Tis Better to Give Than to Receive”

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Kids, please take note, we know it’s hard for you to believe, but believe it or not, there’s more to Christmas than just the presents. Keep things in mind, you know, like family, and love, and sharing, and Christmas trees. (Beat) Mistletoes… tow missiles… and all that other stuff. You know, think of things like peace on earth, goodwill towards men, and (Beat) Why has nobody stuffed anything in my stocking yet this year?

FADE OUT.

No comments:

Post a Comment