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Joseph Scarbrough launched what he called "The Scarblog" as a way of cataloging his work over the years, as well as going into greater detail of things on his mind (known as "Unfinished Thoughts").

Monday, December 9, 2013

Transcript for STEVE'S INEFFICIENT CHRISTMAS (Part 1)

Original artwork from STEVE'S INEFFICIENT CHRISTMAS
Seasons greetings everybody! Decembertime is finally upon us, and with it, so are the holidays... well, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Hanukkah have already come and gone, so we're certainly well into the holiday season, but that's besides the point. This year, I've decided to take a week and dedicate it to sharing with you more of what could have been. I know I keep going on about how STEVE'S INEFFICIENT CHRISTMAS never came to be, but that's because there was so much potential there that never really got to see the light of day, other than Ella the Elf surviving into another guest appearance last year in "Jingle Jangle All the Way". Anyway, this week, I will be sharing the transcripts of the six-part special that was to hit YouTube Christmas Eve 2011, so you can get an idea and feel of exactly how the whole story would have played out (moreso than from the episode summaries and such).

So, without further ado, here's the script for part one of the six part special.
 
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STEVE’S INEFFICIENT CHRISTMAS – PART 1
 
FADE IN.
 
INT. SANTA’S HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT
 
Steve is happily munching from a plate of thumbprint cookies, as he stands by with the Santa Radar Tracker System fired up in the background; the system helps the elves back at Santa’s Workshop keep track of Santa’s exact location during his flight across the globe on Christmas Eve. As Steve is munching, he glances towards the viewer.

STEVE
Oh! Hey everybody! I’m on duty here at Santa’s Headquarters, at the North Pole! Can you believe that?! Every year, they select some average guy to help watch this Santa Radar Tracker System that keeps track of where Santa is on Christmas Eve… and guess what? This year… I’m the average guy they selected to do that isn’t that awesome?! Anyway, this whole thing behind me is the Santa Radar Tracker System, this is how everybody is able to know exactly where Santa is as he delivers presents to all us good lil’ boys and girls on Christmas Eve (Turns and faces Map Screen) and right now, he’s… uh… it looks like he’s… well, I think he’s at… I believe he’s just passing through… uh… uh… gee… I… I’m not even really sure how to figure this thing out and… (Gasps) Oh no! If I can’t read this thing, that means I can’t tell where Santa is! And if I can’t tell where Santa is, then nobody will know where Santa is! And if nobody knows where Santa is, that means Santa’s lost! And if Santa’s lost, that means no presents for all us good little boys and girls tonight! This is a catastrophe! What are we gonna do?! (Calls out) HELP! HELP! SOMEONE HELP! SANTA’S LOST! HELLLLP!!!

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